Moving to an assisted
living facility can be a traumatic experience. Not only
for the individual, but for the caregiver as well. This
is especially so if the new resident has any form of dementia.
However, several things that can be done to make the transition
go more smoothly. "Approach the transition in a way that
will create a positive experience for the individual," says
Thomas Kirk, M.S.S.A. Transition is generally easier if
a family member or friend spends time with the new resident
at the time of the move in and during the days following.
Here are steps you can take before and during the transition
to help a new resident adjust more easily:
Personalize the room before admission
Decorate the room with personal items such as pictures,
a favorite chair, end table or bedspread. Familiar items
provide reassurance.
Choose the right time for the move
Try to arrange the admission time during the new resident's
"best" time of day. Mid-morning hours are usually best for
older persons.
Try not to show fear and sadness
Do your best not to be outwardly upset. Individuals with
dementia can be very perceptive of the emotions of those
around them.
For the well-being of the caregiver
Relinquishing day-to-day responsibility sometimes makes
the caregiver feel worried and guilty. However, family caregivers
can still remain active because they no longer have to
worry about routine care.
Ask the administrator of the assisted living
facility how you can be involved. The following tips can
help you cope with transition:
Plan ahead
Research the assisted living facilities available in your
community, as soon as you begin to feel that your parent
or friend is reaching the point at which living independently
may not be feasible. Many facilities are fully occupied
so it is important to get your name on the waiting list
before a crisis occurs.
Define your new caregiving role
Your role changes (but doesn't end) when a parent or friend
moves into an assisted living facility. You may want to
join them for meals or share in an activity. However, it
is also good to pursue your own interests, and not make
the assisted living facility the focal point of your life.
This is crucial to your health and well-being. Enjoying
yourself in no way means that you are abandoning or forgetting
your parent or friend.
Maintain good communication with staff
Share your concerns and suggestions with staff. Ask the
administrator how, and to whom, concerns and suggestions,
should be presented.
Rehearse the entire transition in your
mind before it happens
Rehearse what it will be like
telling your parent or friend about your concerns. How you
will feel before and after they move to an assisted living
facility? How your parent or friend will react to the entire
process, and especially, how you will respond. Select visiting
times that are comfortable for you. Visit with a friend
or family member if it is too difficult to visit alone.
(This is a good way to involve other members of the family
in the person's care.) Talk with others about your feelings
and emotions. Many people find it helpful to join a support
group. Recent studies suggest that people who participate
in support groups are healthier and have increased life
expectancy. Interestingly, according to the Johns Hopkins
Medical Report, it doesn't matter what the support group
is. The group may or may not relate to the problem at hand.
What counts is sharing experiences with other people. Bottom
line is: don't bury your feelings.
